


5 Times Someone Assumed Wrong About Harry and 1 Time Someone Guessed Correctly

by heartsdesire456



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Age Difference, Comedy, Fix-It, Fluff, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 11:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4562883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>While he knew that their relationship was absolutely the most unconventional relationship <i>ever</i>, he never expected the presumptions people made about them while they were planning the wedding.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Particularly, incorrect presumptions about who exactly Harry was to him. </i></p><p> </p><p>(5 Times Harry is presumed to be someone other than Eggsy's fiance and 1 time people don't get it wrong.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Times Someone Assumed Wrong About Harry and 1 Time Someone Guessed Correctly

**Author's Note:**

> I just wrote this on a whim last night. Enjoy!

Eggsy had never taken Harry for such a romantic that he’d say ‘fuck it’ to all normal societal standards, but when Harry had fully recovered from being shot in Kentucky, he’d given it only about a week after his appointment as Arthur to call Eggsy to his office and snog him senseless with very little warning apart from a polite ‘may I kiss you?’ before pulling Eggsy into his arms.

(Merlin still hadn’t forgiven them three months later for the fact Eggsy didn’t bother to remove his glasses when that meeting ended in the shag of his lifetime on top of Harry’s desk.)

Continuing in his flight of romance, his first time meeting Eggsy’s mother (though he had met Eggsys’s sister when Eggsy had her on occasion) was when he invited them all to dinner at his house and proposed to Eggsy over dessert. She hadn’t been exactly _thrilled_ that Eggsy was engaged to a man thirty-one years his senior – a good ten years older than _her_ \- and definitely not one he’d only been dating for three months, but Eggsy knew that she knew better than he wanted her to what Eggsy did for a living and how much Harry has done for him and for all of them.

Harry revealed to him the next day that she’d privately threatened him if he was just messing Eggsy about, which made Eggsy prouder than ever of his mum. 

So while he knew that their relationship was absolutely the most unconventional relationship _ever_ , he never expected the presumptions people made about them while they were planning the wedding.

Particularly, incorrect presumptions about who exactly Harry was to him. 

~

1\. Father-in-law 

Eggsy looked over the rows and rows of rings, unsure of how exactly he was meant to pick one from the others that lined the glass case. They all looked more or less the same to his eyes. “Eggsy, how about these? She did suggest you would like something more … I believe the term she used was ‘blinging’, which the internet tells me means shiny and bejeweled,” Harry called from across the shop.

Eggsy burst out laughing, rolling his eyes. “Oh my God, that was the best thing you’ve ever said to me, Harry,” he said as he crossed over to see what he was talking about.

The shop owner had pulled out a tray of rings, all of which had diamonds on them in some form or fashion. The owner, who looked just as posh as Harry, seemed pained to be offering him such gaudy rings, but when Eggsy came over, he fixed on an over the top smile. “Yes, I was just telling your future father-in-law about these. Very well priced for the amount of diamonds on the band.”

Eggsy looked up with a confused look and glanced at Harry, who looked mildly uncomfortable. “Father-in-law?” he asked and the jeweler put a hand to his chest.

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I wrong? I just presumed he was the father of your bride, from the ‘she’ he kept mentioning. I assumed your fiancée couldn’t make it and had sent her father in her place-“

“Nah, mate, he is my fiancé,” Eggsy corrected, and Harry smiled politely as he placed a hand on Eggsy’s lower back. Eggsy grinned up at him. “Right, Love?”

“Quite, my dear,” he agreed, giving the shop owner a slightly smug look. “The she would be my fiancé’s mother,” he said, and Eggsy nodded, ignoring the way Harry went suddenly very still and seemed to disappear into his own mind in favor of leaning over to look at all the rings.

“I dunno, Harry, I do like some flash, but diamonds will really clash at the shop. I’d actually kinda like a more traditional gold band now that I’m looking.” Eggsy followed the shop owner to another section, not bothering to drag Harry alone as he inevitably had some internal crisis about being mistaken for Eggsy’s father-in-law. He’d sort that out when they got home, he was a bit busy now.

~

(“Alright, Harry, tell me what’s gotten into you?”

“Your mum is going to be my _mother-in-law_ , Eggsy,”

“Ha ha ha ha! Oh God I’ve gotta call Rox!”)

~

2\. Uncle

“Why aren’t we doing this at Kingsman again?” Eggsy asked Harry as he was measured for his tux at Huntsman. 

Harry smiled at his reflection from his spot leaning against the doorway. “Because, my boy, I’d like something to for once _not_ be work related, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, well, that job’s saved my arse more than once, so I’m not that bothered by keepin’ my business with them,” he countered.

The shopkeeper showed up at Harry’s side and handed him a tumblr of whiskey. “I take it you and your nephew work at Kingsman, then?” he asked.

“Er, not quite,” Harry started, and the man chuckled.

“Well, of course, young Mr. Unwin is probably an apprentice, I know, I just meant-“

“He’s not my nephew,” Harry corrected, sipping his drink. “I’m his fiancé, he’s being fitted for _our_ wedding this afternoon.”

Eggsy winked at Harry in the mirror. “Damn straight, Babes.”

Harry sighed, shaking his head. “I do hate when you call me that, my dear. It’s what your mother calls you.”

Eggsy sighed dramatically. “Fine, fine.” He smirked. “Damn straight, you sexy fucker.” Harry simply put a hand to his forehead while the tailor seemed somewhat alarmed by the exchange, which only made Eggsy laugh even harder.

~

3\. Father

Eggsy fidgeted some as he and Harry were led around possibly the poshest _private mansion_ he’d ever been in, including some of the missions they’d been on, being given a tour as the possible venue for their wedding. Harry and the owner discussed the various points of interest and the benefits of holding their wedding and reception there a few steps ahead of him, but Eggsy was just a bit overwhelmed by just how stuffy and overwhelming the whole place was. 

“Yes, that seems- Eggsy?” Eggsy turned to see Harry and the owner turning into another room whereas he’d just kept walking forward. 

Eggsy grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, just checkin’ out the stuff in the hall, ya know,” he said as he headed back to follow them into the large room that would probably be where they were expected to hold the ceremony.

The owner chuckled. “You’d think your son would be a bit more interested in his father’s wedding, wouldn’t you?” he asked, and Eggsy snapped around from admiring the ceiling to see a rather pained look on Harry’s face.

“Well, yes, he should be a bit more interested, but more because it’s his wedding as well, seeing as he and I are the ones getting married,” Harry said, and the owner did a double take in Eggsy’s direction, then back at Harry.

Eggsy decided to fuck with Harry and he slid up to his side, winking at the owner. “I’m marryin’ him for his money, not for a fancy arse wedding, mate.”

“Eggsy, for the love of God,” Harry groaned, rubbing at the bridge of his nose while Eggsy patted his arse and flounced off – for there was no other word for it – to look at the big windows on the other side of the room.

~

4\. Neighbor

Eggsy and Harry were a bit early for the cake tasting, so Harry sat at one of the small café tables while Eggsy looked around the bakery to see what all they had, hoping it’d give him some idea of what was to come. He kept glancing back at Harry to be sure the baker hadn’t come out to meet him while Eggsy was up, but each time he just found Harry reading the newspaper.

“You know, it’s always so nice to see people helping out their neighbors.” Eggsy turned to the girl next to him. She gave a grin that pulled at her lip ring and she nodded to Harry. “My sister’s best mate does the same, goin’ shoppin’ with the old bloke that lives next door so he doesn’t have to carry all his shoppin’ alone. It’s always real nice to see other young people helpin’ their elderly neighbors.”

Eggsy just stared, trying to think of some way to reply, only to be interrupted by Harry calling to him. “Eggsy, darling?” He turned and saw the Baker had arrived with her first tray of cake samples and had moved Harry to a slightly larger table.

“Just a minute, Love,” he called, then turned back to the girl, who looked both confused and mortified. He shrugged, making an awkward face. “Yeah, not my neighbor, Mate. Fiancé,” he said simply, winking as he turned and walked away to join Harry for the tasting.

~

(Eggsy waited until Harry had just taken a bite of the yellow cake to say, “That girl in the line thought I was helping my elderly neighbor do his shoppin’” just to see Harry spit cake out in his rush to make an indignant remark at the term ‘elderly’.)

~

5\. Grandfather

Meeting their wedding planner was something they were both dreading and excited about. They had managed the more (or less, if you asked Eggsy) fun parts of the wedding planning, picking out rings, and their tuxes, and the venue, and the cake, so they decided it would be best for both of them to just hire a wedding planner to deal with the more tedious things, like catering and photographers and guest lists and such.

They had used the supposedly excellent planner who had done Merlin’s sister’s son’s wedding, and they were excited to meet her. She shook their hands and smiled as she turned to Eggsy. “Mr. Unwin, I presume? Can I ask if the other groom will be joining us, or if your grandfather is the one helping you with your planning?”

Eggsy’s jaw dropped and Harry actually spluttered. “Oh for fucks sake!” He gestured to himself and to Eggsy. “Do you _really_ think I’m old enough to be his _grandfather_?! I know well enough that I’m an old man, but Jesus Christ, I’m not fucking elderly!”

“Love, you do not look even close to as old as you actually are,” Eggsy countered, then looked at the woman. “Seriously, I know there’s an age difference, but how young do you think _I_ am?” he asked.

She looked very confused and a bit alarmed so Harry sighed. “Oh God, I’m sorry to be such a tit, but he’s Mr. Unwin, I’m Mr. Hart, I’m marrying him, he is marrying me,” he said, and Eggsy slid up to his side. Harry gestured to Eggsy. “I’m well aware that with a thirty-one year age gap I’m basically Stephen fucking Fry, but there’s a big gap between ‘old enough to be his father’ and _old enough to be his grandfather_!”

“I’m so very sorry, Mr. Hart, I promise, I meant no disrespect-“

“Miss, even if you think I’m about eighteen, he still don’t look nowhere near old enough to be my grandfather,” Eggsy interrupted with a protective arm around Harry’s waist. Harry seemed abnormally tense, and Eggsy squeezed his hip, standing on his toes to peck his cheek. “Trust me, Harry. You don’t look a day over forty, and a damn hot forty at that,” he reassured.

~

(Eventually Harry forgave the poor woman since she really _was_ the best at her job, but not before getting laughed out of his office when Merlin heard about the wedding planner assuming Harry was Eggsy’s _grandfather_.

Harry got his revenge by leaving his spectacles on while fucking Eggsy to completion on the couch in his office where Merlin sat every single time he came there. Eggsy called him a dirty bugger but, otherwise, he never complained.)

~

+1. New Recruits

After things settled down, there were several places to fill in Kingsman. Since Roxy and Eggsy were so new, they weren’t allowed to propose someone (not that either of them would’ve had any idea who to propose anyhow). Harry didn’t want to be bothered proposing someone since he had so much work to do, so in order to allow Merlin to propose someone, Eggsy and Roxy were put in charge of training and testing the new recruits to narrow the field down to the three Kingsman agents they needed.

Roxy had informed Eggsy that there were rumors among the recruits that he was married to Arthur, but half of them didn’t believe it.

It was during the puppy choosing test that they were interrupted by Harry opening the door while the recruits examined the cages. “Galahad, I hoped I could borrow you for a moment,” he said, and Eggsy grinned.

“Yeah, Love, in a minute.” He gestured to Roxy’s clipboard. “They’re pickin’ their dogs.”

Harry sighed. “Must you call me that at work?” he asked, looking at Eggsy pointedly.

Eggsy just winked. “Gotta let the new recruits know to keep their hands off, they might get the same ideas I did when I was in their spot.”

Roxy chuckled. “Oh so is that how you thought you’d beat me? Shagging an agent?”

“Nah,” Eggsy dismissed. “Shagging ‘em never had anything to do with winning my spot, just saw the hottest piece of arse I’d ever seen and got a bit attached.” One of the recruits bravely raised her hand and Eggsy nodded. “Yeah, Jane?”

“Galahad, sir, are you saying you’re _actually_ dating Arthur?” she asked and he grinned, winking.

“Married is more like it.”

Harry groaned. “You’re horrible at your job, I should replace you.”

Eggsy leered. “Sure there isn’t some other punishment more fitting, Arthur, Sir?” he asked, and Harry actually blushed.

“You’re such an arse, my dear,” he grumbled as he turned to leave. “Don’t forget, my office in twenty!”

“Be right there, Love!” Eggsy called after him, snickering when Harry flipped him off once out of sight of the recruits.

Roxy sighed and turned back to them. “Alright, alright, pick your puppy. You train them as we train you, that’s how this works.”

As Roxy continued the speech about picking a puppy and the requirements for the task, Eggsy snuck out his phone and sent a text to Harry.

_face it Harry my code name might as well B Guinevere 4 how well kept a secret R marriage is they all know no need to not stake my claim on my amazin handsome hot as fuck husband. luv u <3_

“And now if Galahad is done sexting Arthur, we can get on with it,” Roxy said, catching his attention again.

Eggsy just winked and turned to watch the recruits with her, confident in the knowledge he could at least get a good snog out of Harry during their ‘meeting’.


End file.
